I've noticed this personally. Not that I've achieved all I aimed for in life by any means. But then, when I have achieved some things, they weren't so much something to be proud of. There were either things I still wasn't happy with, or they still weren't as good as they could have been, or as good as other people's achievements. Other people being pleased with the result would bring some relief but then, not totally.
To an extent, it's been good to have this mindset. It meant there was never a sense of having accomplished enough, so there were then new things to strive for.
On the other hand though, not experiencing much joy from achieving certain goals means it makes you question whether any other or higher goals are worth struggling towards. If none are going to bring satisfaction, why bother?
I suppose because there was also a sense of failure if I didn't try at all. Plus, the practical danger that I may have to return to a menial job that I would hate even more, I would and still do try.
More strangely, someone once commented that I shrugged compliments off, as if someone else had done the work. Partly, it's because I know there are far better people out there than me. People I would never reach their standard, no matter how hard I tried. So, their compliments didn't even feel that accurate.
When I think about goals I've achieved, I cannot answer whether I feel more satisfaction in the process of working toward them, or the whole thing mostly feels like obligation from start to finish?
Eid al-Fitr, 1st Shawwal 1447 H
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