Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere at Once

I'll never forget the moment it all began. After a lifetime spent within the familiar sprawl of Jabodetabek, I was finally venturing beyond it. I stood in line to check my bag, my mind buzzing, a part of me still questioning if any of it was real. Then the plane pulled up to the gate. Watching everyone rush to get on board, it finally felt real. Those first few moments are seared into my memory, every detail I can still see clearly.

The flight from CGK to DTB was a blur. I spent the entire flight with my face pressed against the window, staring at a landscape that was completely foreign. Green hills spread under a cloudy sky, a striking contrast to everything I had ever known.

Landscape near Silangit Airport

I walked down the terminal, taking it all in. I couldn’t stop looking around. The air smelled different, and everyone was speaking a language I didn't know. Everything screamed, "You're not in Jakarta anymore." The rush of excitement was so intense it felt like my chest might burst.

My journey wasn't over yet. I was crammed into a hot, non-air-conditioned minibus for another four hours on a grueling trip to Sibolga. Words can't fully describe the treacherous roads. You just need to be there just to understand the geographic features of Western Sumatra.

It was all so much to process: disbelief, excitement, and fear. Six hours earlier, I'd been in my hometown. Now, here I was, about to start a whole new chapter."

When I finally arrived at the employee housing, I was met with a mix of personalities. Some residents were immediately welcoming and informative, while others seemed to barely acknowledge my presence. I walked into the room I’d been assigned, a bare, uninviting space with no bed. But I knew it was more than just a place to crash. This was my new home.

I was too tired to unpack that night. I just lay there exhausted, letting the reality of it all sink in.  As I drifted off to sleep, one thought echoed in my mind: this was real. I was here. And whatever came next, it had already started.

Fast-forward several months, I've made friends, both at work and outside of it. I've explored the breathtaking landscapes of North Sumatra. From the amazing waterfall, high peaks of Bukit Barisan, to the largest lake in Indonesia. This new, adventurous side of me surprised even myself, I was never an explorer back home. I thought I have settled.

And now, here I am in Jeneponto, South Sulawesi, almost 2,500 kilometers from Sibolga. It’s time to adjust to a new life all over again. Yet for no apparent reason, this time feels different; it’s harder to get comfortable here. Is it loneliness? Is it the people? Or is it the creeping realization that, because of my work, I may never truly be able to settle down?

No matter what is the reason, it shan't hinder my new interest, to explore. My motorcycle is here with me, and with it comes a newfound freedom. It's led me to places I never imagined, from crystal-clear beaches I thought you'd only see in Bali to prehistoric caves adorned with thousand-year-old paintings.  I may not have a permanent place to call home, but I'm finding a sense of belonging in these endless journeys.

Appalarang cliff in Bulukumba

Mark Twain once said: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit lost, in many different aspects and many different ways. I know I'm not the only one out there who has felt this way, and there are times I wish I could find a community that shares these experiences, a place where I could fully belong. My travels have opened my mind, but they've also revealed this deeper search for a sense of connection.